I came to the realisation tonight that I have never not had enough material for this post.
I work in a Video Ezy store, which is a dying business, but it does for now. I've worked there since October 2010 and in the last four and a half years, I have been constantly astounded by the sheer stupidity presented by some of our customers.
Many of these gripes apply to general retail situations, so I'm sure many of you can sympathise with me.
First up, the stupid questions.
Q: Is a 3 day hire classed as weekly?
What I say: No, it's classed as a new release.
What I want to say: How many bloody days are in a week?
Q: *when signing up for a membership* Do I have to put my phone number on the account?
What I say: Yes, as it's under your name, we need to be able to contact you.
What I want to say: Are you f***ing kidding me?
Q: *brings up an Interstellar case from the wall, which is marked COMING SOON* Do you have any copies of this in store?
What I say: Unfortunately, no, we haven't received our delivery yet.
What I want to say: Read the case.
Q: *while reading poster which says TUESDAY, ALL MOVIES $2* So all movies are $2 on Tuesday?
What I say: Yes.
What I want to say: I don't even have any words.
Q: *after I have put through a transaction for the customer* So those Blu-rays will play on my PlayStation 2, won't they?
What I say: ...No. They only play on Blu-ray players, PlayStation 3 and on, and Xbox One.*proceeds to refund transaction and get the correct copies*
What I want to say: Are you actually as dense as you make yourself seem?
Q: Do you have any copies of Fast and Furious 7?
What I say: That just got released at the cinema, so it won't be on DVD for at least three months following its final showing.
What I want to say: OH MY FOR GOD'S SAKE THE STUPID.
Retail customers are the bane of any retail employee's existence. I get shouted at least twice a shift over someone's late fees. It's not my fault. If they brought the bloody movie back in time, we wouldn't have a problem. And someone asking me whether Interstellar is in store (it's not, our delivery hasn't been invoiced yet) is the DVD equivalent of someone asking if you have those shoes in a size 6.
I do like my job. Some days. Some days are just nightmares. Like the day when the other girl and I got the full set of annoying customers. Some customers just set out to make your life difficult. Some act like entitled little...pieces of work. Middle aged women are the worst for threatening to speak to the manager because I'm rude and a bitch for not deleting their late fees (jokes on them, the manager is my mother).
It's crazy town in there. Some days you just know that if one more customer asks for that movie which has just been released at the cinema (*cough cough* Fast 7), you're going to fly across the counter and strangle them. Or if one more person argues with you over late fees, you're going to commit a felony. Like the woman who insists she isn't paying her late fees because her son was in hospital. Lady, I'm not saying your son wasn't in hospital, but if we wiped late fees every time someone fed us that excuse or something of the like, no-one would pay their late fees.
That's got me knackered. I'm sure there'll be more gripes where that came from later.
Twitter - @godofbacon